The Vanderhorst Family

The Vanderhorst Family

Monday, January 26, 2015

"Daddy, Somebody Needs You"

I'm sure you've all read the article entitled "Mommy, Somebody Needs You." It's found here if you haven't. It basically just talks about what a privilege it is to be a mom, and to always be needed. Your children don't need anyone else--they need their mom. I read this article a few weeks ago and it was much needed. As Andrew approaches the age of 2 and Hailey becomes more social, they both require something the majority of the time (and usually at the same time). Even though neither of them can talk yet, they will most certainly let you know when you're needed!

But the past few weeks I have noticed something that I didn't really notice before. My kids don't need just me. In fact, there are some times when the only person they want is not me, but their dad. Here are just a few examples:

~A few weeks ago Andrew was battling off what seemed to be the 4th cold he's gotten this season. I've noticed that almost every time, he wants Grant. Only daddy can feed him, only daddy can bathe him, only daddy can sing him songs to put him to bed, only daddy will be getting loves that night, and when daddy leaves in the morning Andrew has a complete meltdown. He's getting better--I just keep repeating that "daddy will be back" and he calms down, but there are always lots of tears when Grant leaves for the day. Eventually he warms up to me and accepts my help and love, but if daddy is around while Andrew is sick, chances are he only wants his dad.

~Only daddy can take Andrew to nursery. Without fail, most every time after Sacrament meeting I say "ok Andrew, time for nursery!" and he always runs over to Grant. I've tried to pry him away from Grant before, but to no avail. Nursery drop-off is strictly for dad. On very rare occasions Andrew allows me to drop him off, but I'm pretty sure Andrew prefers dad to drop him off about 90% of the time.

~We've been sleep training Hailey (shoot me in the freaking face--I hate sleep training). We've been trying the cry it out method which worked wonders for Andrew, but we're finding that it isn't working so well with Hailey. The second or third day we tried the cry it out method we let her cry for maybe 10 minutes and she was absolutely inconsolable. I finally picked her up and took her out to the front room where Grant was. I snuggled her for a few minutes and then walked down the hall to put her back in her crib and try again. As soon as Grant was out of Hailey's view, she absolutely lost it again. I started walking down the hallway back towards Grant and she stopped. I turned around to put her back in her crib, and again as soon as Grant was out of Hailey's sight she freaked out. It was like an on/off button. Grant was in the middle of something, but I explained to him that Hailey just needed to see her daddy, so he came in the room with us and after about 10 minutes Hailey fell asleep.

I know for me personally, there were times growing up (and actually, there are still times), when I needed my dad. My mom and I have a close relationship, but there were some times when I just needed to talk to my dad. I had the chance to go out to dinner with him a few weeks ago, and we just sat and talked for about 2 hours about everything. My mom is full of wisdom, but so is my dad, and it was nice to be able to rely on his years of experience and trust his opinion.

I know that moms and dads each have different strengths that they bring to the table, and I know that moms do a lot of work on behalf of their children. But I've also learned something really important these past few weeks--dads are irreplaceable. I'm so grateful for Grant. Here's to the man who gets up early to workout, then goes to work, then comes home to help me get the kiddos to bed, and then helps me clean up the apartment and get dinner on the table. He never stops working. I know people say being a mom is a 24/7 job, but being a dad is also a 24/7 job. You're never of the hook. There are definitely times when my children just want their dad and no one else. And that's when I go to my wonderful husband and say "Daddy, somebody needs you."

Hailey's Blessing Day

Snuggling with Daddy on Christmas Day

Watching his favorite movie with Daddy

My 2 handsome boys!

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