A Mother's Love

As I sit here on a quiet Sunday afternoon I'm able to record my thoughts and feelings from the past few days. A few days ago Grant and I were sitting in an ultrasound room, and the first thing I said to the tech was "We want to know the gender." Both Grant and I had been anxiously awaiting this day of when we could FINALLY shift from calling our baby "it" to "he" or "she."

Going into the ultrasound I thought we were going to have a girl. Not just thought--I said that I would be in total shock if it was a boy. I've always thought our first child would be a girl (even before I was pregnant). I didn't WANT a girl, I just always felt like our first one would be a girl, so you can imagine my surprise when the ultrasound popped up and it was a BOY! I got an instant smile across my face, got teary-eyed, and just looked over at Grant who was beaming! 

As we went through the ultrasound we got to see his cute feet, strong arms and legs, we got to see the 4 chambers of his heart, and we even got a shot of him waving at us while we were looking at his face. It really hit me that our child is growing healthy and strong, and in just a few short months I would be holding this piece of Heaven in my arms.

Within a period of about 5 seconds, my mind was racing about how much I loved this boy, how he would be when he was little, what it'd be like when he was in high school. I imagined him opening up his mission call, meeting a wonderful woman to be sealed to her in the temple, thought to myself how hard it would be for me to see him go through heartache and trials and so forth. And then I thought, "How in the WORLD am I going to raise a boy?! I don't know the first thing about being a mom!" 

And then, a feeling of gratitude overwhelmed me. I was so grateful that I married Grant and had him by my side to raise our children. Anyone who has seen Grant around kids knows that he will be an amazing father--I get comments from my siblings all the time as they watch Grant play with their children about how lucky I am and how wonderful he will be with children. 

I was then filled with a feeling of peace. I knew that Heavenly Father was going to be by our side in raising our family. The scripture came to my mind that said "I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you, to bear you up." (D&C 84:88). I remembered that as long as we had Heavenly Father on our side, we could raise up a righteous posterity. And yes, the past 3 paragraphs all raced through my mind in 5 seconds. 

These past few days have been wonderful! As I've felt our baby boy move around more and more and as we've been looking at baby boy clothes in stores and online, it really hit me that we are going to have a son. I am so grateful for the chance I'll have to be the mother of a boy and have the chance to raise him up to be strong, hard-working, and diligent in the gospel--all with my husband by my side and with the Lord guiding both Grant and me.

So, to my dear baby boy--Mom and Dad love you so much and we're excited to meet you! 

20 Weeks! We're Half Way There!

Hello hello! Life around here has been wonderful and busy. Grant has decided to take a job offer with Deloitte working in Washington DC! We'll be moving there at the end of next Summer! We're sad to be moving so far away from family and friends, but it will be a fun adventure and we're very excited for this opportunity. It's a great way to start off Grant's career and I couldn't be more proud of him :)

We celebrating our anniversary and Thanksgiving last week, which was a much needed break for both of us. This semester has been hard because our schedules are so different. I work from 7-3, and Grant's classes are from 2-6, and with me grading and Grant working on homework we rarely get to spend time together. So Thanksgiving week was a wonderful surprise :) For our anniversary we drove down to Cedar City and spent the night there. We went out to eat at a small pizzeria where they cooked the pizza in a fire. It was so good! 

The next day we drove down to St. George to spend Thanksgiving with Grant's family. It was fun to be with his family and the weather in St. George was beautiful! Grant got to play in the Turkey Bowl with his older brothers and I was able to spend some time with the Vanderhorst girls. 

So here is the preggo update!

How Far Along: 20 weeks exactly. 

Size of Baby: The baby is 10.5 ounces and from head to heel is about 10 inches long! About the length of a banana :) 

Total Weight Gain/Loss: 8 pounds and counting! 

Maternity Clothes: Not quite :) I'm still able to wear the same jeans and pretty much the same shirts, but my belly bump is becoming more predominant. If I were to wear maternity clothes my bump isn't big enough to see it yet.

Gender: No clue! I'm getting pretty impatient to find out, but the day is coming! December 12th!

Movement: Totally! I love it! I can feel little kicks and sometimes it feels like my baby is doing somersaults. Sometimes my bump is bulging and other times it's not--but most times I can tell where the baby is. It's so fun!

Sleep: I have this sleeping position down to a fine art. I put a pillow on either side of me, so if I'm laying on one side I always have a pillow to put in-between my knees and a pillow behind me to help me stay on my side. It has been pretty hard to not sleep on my back since that's how I normally sleep, but I'm getting used to it :)

What I miss: My flexibility. I'm not as fast or limber as I used to be, but it's for a good cause :)

Cravings: Nothing that I can really think of. I'm trying to eat smaller, more frequent meals so I never really get too hungry. If it were up to me I'd just eat salad all the time, but I know that I need protein so I've been trying to force myself to eat more beef.

Aversions: Again, nothing really with aversions either :) I'm trying to say I have an aversion to sweets, but let's be honest--with the holidays around it's hard to resist. I'm doing pretty good though--Grant and I don't really eat sweets much anyways, so the only time I have is when we've been visiting family.

Symptoms:  My lower back has been hurting the past few days, but that's pretty typical around this time of pregnancy (according to "What to Expect When You're Expecting"). I was a little surprised since my bump isn't huge yet, but they say it's because of the ligaments stretching out. It's nothing I can't handle though :) I have my little heating pad and have been taking more baths to help me relax, so it's gotten better.

Best Moment: Feeling the baby move around has been so cool! It's been more of a reality check that there is actually a tiny human inside me! I thought it hit me when the pregnancy test came back positive, and then when I starting to get a little chunkier, but having the baby move around has been the biggest reality that we are going to have a baby! I love feeling our baby move--it's been so fun :)

Here's the current belly-shot. Happy 20 weeks baby Vanderhorst!