Monday, June 25, 2012
Grant and I have been married for 1 year, 7 months, and 5 days, aka 583 days. And every day I tell myself how lucky I am! I just barely got called to work with the young women in our ward and I have been thinking a lot about how I was at that age, especially as a laurel (16-18 years old). I was dating around a lot, preparing myself for college and trying to live life on my own. I've been thinking a lot about the importance of dating and how it helped prepare me for when Grant and I met. I've dated and have been good friends with a few different guys, and there seemed to be always another quality that I found in the guys I got to know that I wanted in my future husband. From one guy, I learned the importance of having a spiritual connection. Another guy taught me that I needed to be completely myself around them (yes, dork and all). Another person taught me to value my education and look on the bright side of things. Another person taught me that I really want someone who can make me laugh non-stop. I also knew (from making all those lists in young women's about my future husband) I wanted someone who was dedicated not only to me, but also to the gospel and living gospel standards. I was explaining this a few years ago to one of my guy-friends, who bluntly told me that my "standards for guys I want to date and eventually marry are unrealistic and if I don't lighten up I'll never marry." Basically all the qualities listed above cannot exist in just one man. Unfortunately, I haven't talked to this kid in a few years, but I wish I could introduce him to Grant and just say "Hey, he does exist, I found him, and now we're together forever." My parents just came to visit this past weekend and my mom gave me all of my journals from my teenage years. I found a few "future husband lists" and I'm proud to say that not only has Grant lived up to each of those qualifications I listed as a 14-year old, but he also exceeds them. I've also often wondered why marriage is truly necessary. Why can't I just do it on my own? I'm independent enough and open enough to change. Why do I need a husband to make me a better person? Well, the truth is, Grant does make me a better person through his example and his encouragement. I know I couldn't make it back to the Celestial kingdom without him because he makes up for what I lack. He is my best friend and knows how to gently guide me in the right direction, and I know I do the same for him as well. That's what being married is all about. So, I guess the moral of the story is, when a person says that your ideal husband doesn't exist, you'll be able to prove them wrong on your wedding day, and if you have to wait a little longer for him it's totally worth the wait. I'd rather wait a few years for the right, ideal person, than be stuck with the wrong person for eternity. PS, I know Grant isn't perfect (meaning without flaw), but he's perfect for me. Heaven only knows I'm not perfect, but I know I'm perfect for Grant. I'm so grateful for the blessing of marriage, and grateful to have this boy by my side!